Back in 1958 or so, we didn’t have babysitters, nannies, or
maids. We had ‘Instructions’ For
instance, when my mom had to go out to the market, or to run mom chores we kids
would be left home alone. Me being the oldest, 8, I was the one to be given ‘The
Instructions’
- -Alvie, while I’m out keep an and eye on your brother and sister, no fighting, and don’t use the stove, stay out of the fridge, you don’t need to be eating anything, I don’t want you choking again, especially if no one is here. Don’t be using your slingshot to be shooting birds from your bedroom window, and most of all: DO not, do not open the door for anyone other than me. Got it?
- -Yes,
- -What did I say?
- -No Fighting, don’t use the stove, stay out of the fridge, no eating, no slingshot stuff and don’t open the door for anyone?
- -Ok, back in an hour.
<One hour later.>- (knock-knock)
- -Who is it?
- -It’s me, mom, open the door.
- -How do I know it’s you?
- - God damn it, open the door or when I get in there I will knock you into next Tuesday.
- - John, check the back door, I don’t know who it is but they have the evil power of time travel.
- - Dee, go lock all the windows, this could be dangerous.
- - Alvie, open the door.
- - How do I know you’re who you say you are?
- - Open the God damn door now!
- - Ok but first you will have to answer a few questions.
- - What did we have for breakfast?
- - Don’t be funny, you had oatmeal and toast, Johnny had a bowl of Quisps and Dee had peaches, now open the fucking door.
- - Damn, they got mom, I think they sucked the morning stuff out of her brain and sent out one of their chief body pods to kill, roast and eat us.
- - Really, what are we going to do Alvie?
<Loud banging on the door>- The three of you are going to get an ass beating if you don’t open this door now.
<Johnny and Dee peeking out from the living room curtains>- - Alvie, its getting mad, the face is turning red, what are we going to do?
- - Don’t worry, I think it’s going into its huff and puff skills, but the house is cinder block so we don’t have anything to worry about right now, but, we need to get a plan in place.
- - Like what?
- - I don’t know, let me think.
<banging getting louder>- - Ok, turn the stove on, go get my slingshot, open the fridge and get all the choking stuff out.
- - What is choking stuff?
- - I don’t know, get chunk stuff out.
- - Should we get the marmalade out, remember when you choked on the little orange things in the jelly?
- - Yes, get the marmalade and also a few orbs so that we can ultra-force project the orange blast units.
- - Ok, Johnny, smear some marmalade on one of the Brussels sprouts
- - Dee, hand me my slingshot.
- - Ok, on the count of three, Dee, open the door, I will have only one shot. Our only hope is that I can launch the orange globe of death directly into the mouth of whatever it is.
- - God be with us,
- - 1…, 2…

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