First of all I would like to thank all the folks that saddled up and came
looking for me. Hell, I
think the only person missing from the posse was Gary
Cooper and, all in all, he had good reason not to be there. So in short y’all
have no idea how that makes me feel. Thank you. And after this short post I will
be back talking smack as a matter of fact, but first…
For those of you that I lost in the whirlwind of survival
let me back up a few months.
Taking the Memphis
freight train to see The King…
May 15th 2200 h. 2007 I found myself nearly tits
up on a gurney rolling down one of the - soon to become many - corridors of the
Glendale Seventh Day Adventist Medical Center with a team of cardiologist trying
their best to keep me alive.
With a resting heart rate of 150, blood pressure holding at
170/120 and drowning because my lungs had filled with blood and fluid, they had
their hands full to say the least. Massive Congestive Heart Failure is the medical term: To me, I knew it
as sheer panic. In short the bottom half of my heart just quit working due to
complications of high blood pressure – which mind you I had been on medication religiously
– but had not been following doctors orders on sodium intake and of losing a
few pounds. In fact, she was beginning to piss me off so to counter that… I
quit seeing her.
The two major mistakes in my life:
One was telling an arresting officer one dreary winter night
in 1973 after being arrested for possession. “Do me a favor and tell your wife
I won’t be by this evening.”
The second as you have just heard was telling my doctor to
piss off in my mind world.
So after letting things go - haphazardly- and not knowing
that the average person ingests approximately 10,000 to 15,000 mgs of sodium a
day and I, I’m sure was beyond that seeing as how I cook with more salt seasonings
that is allowed for any one person. I
was told to cut down to at least 2,400 mgs a day. not 2,400 exactly but
somewhere in that range. Of course that was that last thing we spoke about with
me saying yeah, no problem.
No problem because I was so out of there.
Two months later I became short of breath and weak, but of course I would pass that off as bronchitis. Something I never had before, but it surely
made sense. I was so much more comforting
and less frightening than heart disease.
And the bronchitis just got worse… or so I thought. But then
I realized what even with bronchitis one can still sleep and by this time I had
gone without sleep for three days… Major denial folks… nothing worse than
hiding from yourself… when you can’t take in a quarter of a breath, you find
that inside your skin you run out of places to hide.
Well one would think that it’s time to dial up 911, but I
figured that I would drive myself in to the hospital. Apparently, I was – in their eyes – already dead
and they had a hard time believing that I had made it there.
Now seeing the doctors as concerned as they were I sort of thought…
hmmmh… maybe I overshot my ability to think properly.
Well, after a week in intensive care with iv’s in both arms
coupled with three to four injections every 120 minutes and nurses waking me on
the hour to see that I still had a brain, and I should mention a cardiologist
that knew a few secrets on keeping the terminally stupid alive. I made it over
the rainbow and back to Kansas.
On the day of my release and still somnolent from all the
radio active solution they had pumped through me, I had a nice little
conversation with a nutritionist: we spoke of diet and other great things that
I was willing to listen to… and to comply with.
It’s been two months as of today, not once have I exceeded
990 mgs of sodium in any one day. I have dropped 30 pounds. Up until my freight
train ride to the circle of light I had about zero strength, I could barely get
through the day as it was and trust me when I say that was an effort in itself.
Now I am back to cycling in the mornings. I am just
finishing up a five week course where I will be certified to teach, train and
instruct in the state of California
and this was not an easy task to achieve for I had to beg, cry and almost plead
to get my doctor to let me go back to work. One of the side effects of the
staying alive meds that I was given is depression and so I had to make myself
useful. Besides I had a second chance and had to start building up my karma
ratings.
I still have a way to go… I may have a few electronics
implanted into my heart next month. That is something I’m actually looking
forward to only because it will alleviate what little fatigue I have now. Even though I’m up and out I can still do
with feeling perfect.
People have asked me how is it that I can cook, eat and live
without sodium… that they have tried and it is almost impossible.
All I can say is that when I was in the hospital, flat up,
the hospital Chapman came by and asked me if I would like her to stop by in the
mornings and early evening so that we could pray. I politely told her No, but thanks. She
reminded me that The Lord Jesus had died for our sins and in our time of need
he would be there for us.
I had to assure here that if he had died for my sins and saw
the shape I was in he was really going to be pissed.
She asked me. Well I don’t mean to pry but if you don’t
believe in the Lord our Savior, then who or what do you believe in?
I simply replied… I believe in me.
So how do I live without salt… easy, I want to live, when I die
I want to be all used up. And I am the only one that can see to that.
Again, I want to thank all the people that were there for
me, that knew where was when I wanted to keep it hush hush…
Thanks to my loving and very brave Son who flew here on a
moments notice. My Daughter who called
me daily, my sisters who stood by bravely and both ex’es: The first one who
checked in out of curiosity and the second who called with major concern. To Sasha who give me a ration for not taking care of myself and who I adore dearly for her concern. To Carol who reminded me of the mother hens that were concerned of my whereabouts. To Collen and the many others. And
of course Pauline who kept in touch throughout the whole ordeal and still
requests my vitals on a daily basis, she is a doll. To Polly from Bone Idle who wrote in comment shortly after my release... who did not know what had happened wrote after I posted a photo... So you're still alive...
That alone brought a smile to my face.
Thanks to all of you. You have all been in my thoughts.
Now… I have a few things to say about Paris Hilton but that
will have to wait. I have a some veggies to bbq.
And if my thought-dreams
could be seen
They'd probably put my head in a guillotine
But it's alright, Ma, it's life, and life only
-Bob Dylan
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