First of all, let me state that what I’m about to embark on is really not Tam’s fault when it comes to dressing. I take full responsibility for our family idiosyncrasies.
Case in point: A few months ago I’m out and about for a haircut; I’m sitting in the chair and get the regular fare of “How would you like your hair cut today?” Well, it’s a little long on top so I reply with. “A #8 clipper cut on the back and sides and take about an inch and a half off the top.” With this information readily at hand the stylist evaluates the entire appeal and backed by her Supercuts’ training and with fourteen dollars and ninety nine cents of concern replies with “If I take an inch and a half off the top your cowlicks will come through.” In an attempt to ease her dilemma I reply with with. “Madam, it’s 1:00 pm in the afternoon on a Wednesday and if you’ll notice, you will see that I’m wearing house slippers, and so a few cowlicks coming through really won’t cramp my look.
Well, that about sums up family and dress.
Coco Chanel once said “Elegance does not consist of putting on a new dress.”
I can remember a few years back Tamra was here visiting for the weekend and we decided to go out for morning coffee. As we are standing in line I noticed that she is wearing the very same pj’s that she slept in, her hair is in a scrunchy, and she’s sporting a pair flip-flops, along with her halo. We ordered coffee and that was that. I don’t think either one of us gave it much thought except I was well aware that the flip-flops didn’t match.
Fast forward to this past weekend: I’m at the her place framing a few photos for Lil. Tam is out running a few errands at the local hardware, looking for tools or feeding the homeless or something. She returns and after a few minutes mentions that most of the time that she was out she felt that people were staring at her and she had no idea why. She did recall brushing her teeth so the thought of bagel chips and almond butter residue was off the apprehension list, yet she said she felt ‘gawked at’
Pulling out my phone I snapped her image and pointed out what may have fazed the Phoenix populace.
Our findings:
Halo: Both of my daughters are equipped with a halo that self-adjusts depending on current moods. The morning in question, her halo was over-bright, most people don’t care for over-bright halos, especially if they don’t have one: Halos are like new car smells for the soul. New car smell isn’t appealing if you don’t have a new car.
Cap: With a ‘Yay’ logo. I Don’t have a lot to say about that, except ‘Yay’
Tee-Shirt Caption: If I don’t remember it, it didn’t happen. Daughter like father is how that puppy hunts.
Unsightly Stain: Could be just about anything, however I’m pretty sure it’s organic, she’s good that way.
Black Baggy Shorts with cryptic insignia that reads: Be nice to me or my dad will take you out with a plastic baby bottle. However, I’ve tried to talk her out of that reference and instead insisted that we just kick up her halo at notch or two and just flash fry them back to hell. She thought about if for a minute or two and then decided bashing them within in an inch of one’s life with a baby bottle is so much more Shakespearian. Go figure. She can be so cultured at times.
Tie Dyed Shorts: Again what can I say? Personally I think they go great with black baggy.
Unsightly Stain Origin: Still, I haven’t a clue as to what it is but I can bet donuts to dollars that is not a guest towel, guest towels are beige, or… hmmm, I’ll get back to you on that one.
Don’t get me wrong, I have seen her dressed to the nines, and she can turn heads with the best of them, and like Coco Chanel reminds me… Tamra can be as elegant in a pair of mismatched flip-flops as she is in a Versace evening gown.
That’s what I’m talk'n about.
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