Transmission Recieved

The following correspondence took place October 13, 2010 in reply to a message sent to me from a relative somewhere northeast of Los Angeles, California. Everything you are about to read is true.

From Vanessa
Domain: Benedict - Del Rio Formation.
Location: Sector IX Facebook.
Rank: Farm Command Sergeant Major (FCSM)
Transmission: Electronic File Transfer
Date sent: October 13, 2010
Time Sent: 1400 hours

 

Alvin! Evil forces have joined against me in a hostile Farmville take over. I am therefore fleeing my fb, leaving it to the occupying forces. This will become my stepdaughter’s page: Commander Scarlet Del Rio. I will be taking refugee under the new Vanessa Benedict-Del Rio page. A friend request will soon follow.

Signed
Vanessa Benedict-Del Rio

------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Alvin
Domain: Valles-Del Rio Empire
Rank: Online Transport Renegade (OTR)
Location: Sector IV Facebook.
Transmission: Electronic File Transfer
Date sent: October 14, 2010
Time Sent: 0100 hours

Dearest Vanessa,

I offer my deepest condolences on your self-imposed exile from Farmville and the neighboring avenues of FB. It is at this time that I gladly avail myself of the present opportunity to share my views on the dark forces that have slowly evolved into the lowly overlords of Facebook and who are now attempting to overthrow the farming communities. I am not certain that I will have a chance of sending this, word has just arrived that the dark overlords are now in a flight path over our current location.

 

 

As I read your transmission I am sitting inside my cabin listening to the recorded gentle electric song of cicadas, it began to warm early this morning and is still at it. I will write in a few days if I get a chance but for the time being as soon as the heat pulls back we will begin loading corn, wheat and beans along with what livestock we can salvage and will be moving them into three of the four Mercury Starcrafts that are still in operation. I fear that that we won’t be able to take as much of the livestock as first anticipated that we make more room for the elderly and the simple minded. No one will be left behind except for an elite group of special op’s that have trained for the last two years which has led to this moment:  to fight off and distract the overloads so that we (the community) may build up enough energy to eject a one way star-jump to the nearest galaxy. My prayers are that they too will be able to make that jump when the time comes. If not, they will not have died in vain.

 

I just came off docks and found the boys and gals all writing and prepping their hopefully, not last letters, to family and lovers. If it were not for these young men and women, (special op’s) I think we would not have lasted as long as we have and would have been forced as yourself, to seek self-exile back when most of the neighboring farms quit sending FB pokes or started offering concrete fence posts and walls instead of orphaned hens, cows and peacocks.

 

You do remember FB Star Jumper Mack Jackson? Well he left the unit day before last to return to his family and farm and in doing so he let me have his stuff: A waterproof pack, gun, poncho, four Look candy bars, a shaving kit, three bottles of water, a goat, a dozen clothes hangers, an ice pick and several mafia rings. Two cosmopolitans, a salty dog, a gin and tonic, a rewrite of The Lord’s Prayer, a toy helicopter and a vintage 8-track tape player. Also in his belongings he left a dozen toothpicks, a, flock of seagulls, a Facebook button collection, a canvas tarp in the shape of Vermont, a pair of jeans (size 44) an etch-a-sketch without the gray powder and three hermetically sealed Jack in The Box tacos.  A scuba diving suit and a baseball cap.  As much as I would like to keep all this stuff I have no room for the Tarp. However, I must move on to more pressing issues.

 

We captured a good many prisoners in a fight last month and killed a good many more. We went up as high as Morrison Town 8 or 10 miles above Cape Sanders to get a foothold in a battle to save most of the outlaying farms that were not yet taken over. We fought nearly all day at the Cape and were barely able to hold our own before retreating.

 

Sunday, two weeks ago today we boarded the prisoners on a lunar life raft and programmed it to the nearest retention satellite center and now that the threat of a prisoner coup to rebel has been squashed and after stabilizing matters both here at camp and the nearby farms, time finds me here writing you this evening.

 

The prisoners boasted that we would never get back to our farms but they were badly mistaken, for we have been back now for nearly three days and have sustained a very light loss, we never lost a man out of our company and only one or two out of the entire unit. I wish I had time to give you a full description the battle. It would be very interesting to you to know that your exile has not gone unheeded and yet I’m sorry to say, but you will have to kindly accept this little scrawl for the present.

We will remain in this vicinity in support of Commander Scarlet Del Rio and her troops, and shall position ourselves somewhere in the hills overlooking the Vanessa Benedict Farmville Compound: A name that I believe Commander SDR will fly proudly alongside her flag.

 We should reach the hills by morning, we would have arrived as of the 10^th of October but we needed time to recruit our horses. Our horses are sadly broken. We found plenty to feed our horses in a little town west of Flickr, (a photo site associated with Facebook) where we had to put up with some of the most horrendous photos known to mankind, and even then we hardly had time to eat or rest ourselves as we traveled almost incessantly night and day.

Many of the men have been craving bacon for the last fortnight and so night before last we ‘Friended’ three sites that “Liked’ bacon and raided them soon thereafter. There was not much of a fight for many of the occupants at the site were comatose from constantly jumping wall to wall in an attempt to leave witty comments and notes of concern. This wall meandering seems to be nothing more than a sallied attempt to compensate for a lack of self-worth in real life.

It saddens me to say we raided the bacon camps much like the very people that we’re trying to stop, the bottom line being that my men needed bacon. In a frail attempt to justify my actions I try to believe that it would have been just a matter of time until the leagues that have forced you out of your home would soon control the entire pork industry as well as the remainder of Farmville. I hope to redeem myself in future battles lest I become like the darkness that has overcome most of the land.

I must close for fear that we experience another solar blast that should take down the remainder of our communications satellites. Write when time and thought allows, I will get them at one time or another, unless, Grace forbid, that I am imprisoned and for then I fear, letters will be the least of offerings from my captors. I will write every chance, do not be uneasy when you do not get letters, for when we are scouting around the hills of your former compound it may be impossible to write or to send them off if I did write.

Give my love to my sister and be well.

Post Script: As you know, I have electronically dispatched my thoughts and feelings off to you via file transfer mode, however, I have also posted much of our correspondence on my Facebook page in hope that what revolutionaries are left in the realm, may contact our battalion to accompany us on our star-jump.  For we will need as many men and women as possible and once we are well armed and logistically sound we will return and take back what is rightfully ours.

May Grace be with you.

Comments

[sandy]

WOW...

[Sasha]

Uh...so. Alvin, how are you? You're going to email me back, right? The 13th was my wedding anniversary. Um. Yeah. *backing away carefully*

[Alvin]

Thanks Sandy. I'll take a wow any day of the week. It works for me.

Always, Alvin

Sasha: Yes, check your mailbox, there should be a reply to our last correspondence, I received word that you had hit the 13 year mark. Congrats. I guess marriage does work if one finds the right match but for myself... don't know yet ;-)

As ever
Alvin.

Thanks all for commenting