- Poppi, Poppi, tell us a bed time story
- Ok, wash up, brush your teeth, and into your pjs
- Scary or not scary.
- Scary.
- But remember, we don’t talk about these tales to mom or dad, ok?
- Of course.
- Ok, then, into your pj’s.
Once upon a time in the far, far away lived a little boy named Marvin. Some said he was a smart lad. Others said smarter than a tub of alphabets. And yet others thought that with a little ambition and a good amount of work that someday he would be able to outwit a box of rocks. However, one thing that everyone agreed on was that Marvin was an ornery little bugger: Mean as can be and wouldn’t do a thing he was asked. How one can think that being ornery is being smart I’ll never know, but that’s what I’m told?
Marvin hated grown-up’s more that getting out of the bed in the morning, plain and simple. They were the rule makers in his world. They had the power to send a kid to bed in the middle of the afternoon. They cooked green stuff. They insisted on all kids going to school, to church and to birthday parties, and most of all, he hated grown-ups because they were tall: Much taller than himself.
So one day, Marvin heard of an old woman that lived at the end of a cul-de-sac in an old abandoned wiener factory about three blocks from his house. He also heard that the old crone could make things happen that normally would not happen in a reasonable somewhat perfect world. And this made Marvin very, very happy because in his world, grown-ups were less than zero when it came to being perfect.
Skipping his advanced macaroni and paper plate face making class, Marvin decided to stop off at the old crone’s house on his way home and see if he could cut a deal to do something about the big people.
Cynthia, a fairly reasonable old crone when it came to chubby little boys was more than willing to help Marvin out with his little dream of ridding the neighborhood of adults, but as with most deals, there is a price to pay.
You see Marvin, had to bring her the head of the tooth fairy. The old crone hated the tooth fairy about as much as Marvin hated grown-ups. Word on the cul-de-sac was that before the new tooth fairy was nominated, Cynthia the crone was in charge of gathering teeth from all the little boys and girls in town and not just in Marvin’s town. Some say her duties took her all the way out to the four neighboring counties. However, about May of last year, Sandra McMillan was elected Regional Tooth Fairy: She became quite popular with a complete new tooth collecting strategy: She would slip just outside of a child's dream, take the tooth from under the child’s pillow and leave a quarter for each and every tooth. This collection method was very unlike the old crone’s way of doing things.
The old crone, when she was in office was all about being proactive, she was a real go-getter. During the day she would go over her list of kids and see who was about to lose a tooth. Then when that little boy or girl was in school the old crone would slip into the little boy’s or girl’s bedroom and hide under the bed. With time on her hands she would double check the tools that she had brought with her in a little black bag that had once been a little black cat that someone had scooped its insides out and attached a shiny brass handle to its little black cat's back. In that cat turned bag was a little tooth hammer, a pair of pliers and a roll of duct tape.
After the child was asleep and the entire house was quiet, settling and creaking as old houses do. The crone would spring from under the bed, jump on top of the little boy or girl, duct tape their head to the bed and take out her little tooth hammer, bang on a few teeth, then use her pliers to yank the loose teeth out. No quarters. No siree.
It was no wonder that the new tooth fairy was voted in and Cynthia given the boot to slither off to her cul-de-sac of resentments.
But that was then, and today with Marvin, she had a shot at retribution and a chance of getting her old job back as soon as the tooth fairy was out of commission. And now she would be.
Now I must go back a bit and tell you that the old crone would have loved to have taken out the tooth fairy herself but right after the May elections last year, a clause was added to the union books. Rule 62: No fairy tale person, man or woman, beast or fish may take the life of another fairy tale person, man or woman, beast or fish.
But they could hire out.
The Deal.
For the head of the tooth fairy, Marvin would be gifted with a plan to rid the county of half of all grown-ups.
The Plan.
The old crone would give Marvin a list of all the kids that would be tucking a tooth under their pillow for the tooth fairy. And selecting someone from the list that lived in the neighborhood Marvin would slip into their bedroom and hide under the bed – much like the very bed you’re all snuggled up in now – and lay in wait for the tooth fairy.
Once the tooth fairy arrived, Marvin would wait for her to slightly bend over as she was known to do when retrieving a tooth. At that moment, Marvin would hop up from under the bed and with a dagger that he had previously removed from his black cat bag that he had borrowed from the crone, Marvin would jump on the tooth fairy’s back, pull her head in a backwards direction, reach around and slip the cold steel tip of the dagger into the soft underside of the tooth fairy’s belly. Once the dagger was in, he was pull the blade all the way to her neck so that she would bleed out quietly and quickly. Marvin would then remove the head and place it on a stick for easy transport back to the old crone’s hideout.
Marvin spent almost two weeks going over the procedure; morning, noon and night, and even went to sleep at night thinking of his conquest. It was just last week, Tuesday in fact –that he carried out The Plan, and as you know, most plans have a way of going awry. However, nothing went wrong with this plan because the old crone was very determined to have her old job back. Marvin was very determined to have a go at the grown-up's.
People say that if you go down to the end of the cul-de-dac you can see the head of the tooth fairy nailed squarely onto the garage door of the wiener factory.
And Marvin now has his gift on how to rid the neighborhood of grown-ups...
- But that is all for tonight kids, tomorrow, after a good night’s sleep I will tell you how this tale ends.
- Kisses
- Sleep tight my little angels.
- Poppi.
- Yes?
- Can you leave the hallway light on?
- Yes.
- Poppi.
- My tooth is a little loose.
- We’ll have a look at it in the morning.
- But what if you’re not here in the morning.
- Don’t be silly.
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Feel free to leave a comment if you want to know how this turns out. It’s rather interesting, at least I think so.
Love and lollies.
alvin
Photo compiled of things I had laying around the house and an old radio that my mother used to listen to when she was with us: that my sister gave me. It sits on my desk now next to a frog and gargoyle. Mom, thanks for letting me be Marvin at times, wherever you are.
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