A scientifically generated humongous 8.4 earthquake
will rock a seven-story nipple tomorrow at 0900 hours to the brink of collapse.
The 70 foot nipple currently sits on the world’s largest mobile earthquake platform in the back lot of Nin Quan Nye’s Take Out and Dim Sum
Kitchen on Main Street in Chinatown. The mobile earthquake platform
will simulate the motions of the 1906 San Francisco earthquake.
Although metal corrugated buildings are
cheaper and faster to construct than those made of steel Dr. Nin Quan Nye after
visiting several local beaches felt that a new Nipple Structure System would be beneficial in several of the new
mid-rise structures that are planned to be built in the region, especially in
the congested areas of downtown Los Angeles.
“Basically, what happens during an
earthquake in multiple-story buildings is something called a 'soft story'," said
Dr. Nin Quan Nye. "A 'soft story' lends itself to the very same shaking and jigging that falls into motion when a 30 something woman jogs on a beach path."
After a six month in-depth study of female
runners at the world famous boardwalk in Santa Monica California Dr. Nin Quan
Nye came to the conclusion that if the human nipple can take such a savage
belting day in and day out and still hold true to form then it just may be
possible to build new town homes and small six to five story business units in
the form of a nipple.
Dr. Nin Quan Nye went on to say that from
his study that he found the nipple itself to be just a bit more stiff than the surrounding formation of its makeup.
This holds true especially in colder climates and most of our earthquakes have
taken place in early or later parts of the year.
Dr. Nin Quan Nye elaborated further with "What we need is a building with stiffness
built closer to the top of the structure along with the base and surrounding areas a bit more “soft” from
the rest of the unit. This will allow for the entire structure to move or shake violently and then
return to its original form without collapsing."
Dr. Nin Quan Nye feels that
with this new structure in place there should be less worry of collapse and urban destruction during a major earthquake. These
new structures are expected to hold their shape and resiliency for at least 60
years.
Mrs. Nin Quan Nye of Nin Quan Nye’s Take Out and Dim Sum Kitchen
could not be reached for comment.
Okay I am trying to make the jump between conversation and entry... I just fell off the edge.
Posted by: Alice | July 13, 2009 at 11:39 PM
It will make sense in time Grasshopper.
Posted by: Alvin | July 14, 2009 at 12:04 AM
I hope you'll be leaving your brain to science. It definitely needs to be studied. ;)
Posted by: Stephanie | July 14, 2009 at 02:26 AM
What Steph said.
Posted by: Carol | July 14, 2009 at 05:20 AM
Alvin. OMG. I'm going to walk around all day, clutching at myself with self-consciousness.
Posted by: Sasha | July 14, 2009 at 07:41 AM
Thanks Carol and Steph. I'm not sure if they would get anything from it. I've been living with it for a while and I'm still perplexed.
Sasha. No need to clutch, they aren't going anywhere, sturdy as they are.
Posted by: Alvin | July 14, 2009 at 10:35 AM
WZJta4 http://djtnG49Nsl0g2KasFu.com
Posted by: jenifer | October 17, 2009 at 01:55 AM