And How is That?

Dear Sister La Cienega

Recently my 7 year-old asked me ‘With the alarm button gone, what happens to danger?’ Well, as you may have guessed, this question took me quite by surprise. Needless to say, it was just a skoosh above the old standby of ‘Why is the sky blue?’ and telling her that blue is the color of God’s underwear worked when she was 5.  But, my heavens, what is this thing about danger all about?

Lost in New Orleans.

Dear Lost in New Orleans.

Kids are somewhat the curious little creatures aren’t they?  However, you needn’t be alarmed by her interest in the concept of danger. In this time of kidnappings, hit and run incidents, being orphaned, death of a grandparent or kindergarten teacher, life can be downright scary for the little sprogs. 

Just remember that there are times when finagling a tale or two will explain away a child’s curiosity but in this case I think truth is the best policy, but then again, it all depends on how truth is delivered. Children are much more advanced today than when we were kids. 

I suggest that you sit down with her, notebook in hand with the this one item written in crayon

Q: With the alarm button gone, what happens to danger?

Let her mull it over for a few minutes and then have her write:

A: Danger goes renegade.

Then promptly explain.

Renegade danger is like when your Uncle Louie was walking through the park last summer and a squirrel overhead in a tree had a heart attack and fell on top of Uncle Louie’s head, and as the squirrel’s little sinuous paws dug into Uncle Louie’s forehead to stop its fall, and in doing so, the little rodent gouged out Uncle Louie’s eyes.

Or like when we were driving in the country last year and a large bug hit the windshield, and remember how at first we were startled, but then we laughed when the bug’s body had designed a crazy pattern on the glass in its foolish quest to take the highway. And how all the pretty colors in that design had snapped us all up in a fit of the giggles and that I was laughing so hard that I ran off the road and hit a pole, and remember we couldn't call for help because the pole we hit turned out to be a cell phone tower.

That too, my child, is renegade danger.

Comments

[Sasha]

OMG. Alvin. I don't even know what to say. But I will say that that is exactly what I would like to see happen to my uncle Louie.

[Alvin]

Sasha, we truly must have the same uncle. ;-)

[Carol]

I hope renegade danger Stays away from here. Your stories scare me.

[Alvin]

They scare me to Carol... I have no idea where they come from but I'm assuming from somewhere in the back of my thoughts, underneath a pile of decaying lawn trimmings or somewhere similar to that.

always
alvin

[Alice]

This was so funny, thank you Alvin. I now know I am not the only one who has stray bizarre hazardous thoughts. BTW "the queen mother" used to act like she was taking the squished bugs off the window with her finger and then lick her finger. Ewww!

[Alvin]

Alice, your mom is my kind of girl. Thanks for stoppoing in.

[Stephanie]

That's some photo!

[Alvin]

Thanks Steph, she is a doll.