Dear Sarah Palin

What in the hell has gotten into you? Did you forget where you came from.? Are you too good for us now? Don’t you remember that when you left for the governor’s mansion we supported you even though you left Wasilla in debt for $20,000,000. We even stuck by you when you decided to use your clout to have your brother-in-law fired. Lest we mention we lied for you when you were stooping your aide while Todd was out snowboarding or whatever he does in that neon colored jumpsuit. So how could you blow us off upon your return to Wasilla this past week?

There must have been at least 500 of us braving the cold north chill as it blew in and through the Wasilla Greyhound station. We had set up four hot coco stations. Hot dogs, cotton candy and five varieties of moose on a stick, including bear balls pie, your favorite. Yet you choose to slip in un-noticed, un-available and uppity. I ask again what has gotten into you?

Well, we don’t mean to make a big deal out of your big deal, however, we’ve compiled a list of concerns that may help if you decide to run for office in 2012.

1.   Here at home: First and foremost we hope you brought Joe the Plumber back to Wasilla with you because as you can see, the loo is backed up and that is why I’m writing you with my ass stuck in a trash can.

2.   Math: Don’t take this the wrong way, but, when a wealthy donor gives you $20, 000 to $25,000 for three suits for the Republican Party nomination bash, and three suits for the campaign trail they do not mean $150,000 for yourself, an additional $40,000 in snow attire for Todd, and most definitely NOT $20,000 plus for your kids, including $10,000 for Twig, that he will grow out of in the next year or so. We’re not counting but that adds up to a little over $200.000. Oh, and don’t let the Wasilla hillbilly looting Neiman Marcus statement, upset you. I would have done the same. Maybe.

3.   Geography: Africa is a continent, not a country.

4.   Periodicals: The Wall Street Journal is a newspaper not a diary.

5.   Interviews: When asked what magazines you do read, do not reply with People, Us and TV Guide.

6.   Thoughts: Try to finish a complete sentence.

7.   Politics: Just in case you didn’t know, there is a neighbor, considering the size of Alaska, neighbor is relative, but there is one you may consult with when it comes to politics and world affairs and that would be Mivox. Do look her up.

Well that’s about it. I left it at seven, let’s start off easy. After all even God took a rest on the seventh day. Which brings up another little riddle for you to settle upon: How come god had to rest on the seventh day, if he were indeed the creator of all mankind, why would he become tired? Or as my good friend Homer Simpson once said:  “Could God Cook a Burrito So Hot Not Even He Could Eat It?”

Ya’betcha.

Comments

[Carol]

And don't answer the door to senior aids wearing only a towel.

PS How much did you have to tip the guy in the photo? That is a cool picture.

[Alvin]

Two Dollars
;-)

[Lorena]

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL Indeed !

[mivox]

Oddly enough, she hasn't given me a call (or an email) yet. Perhaps I should check my spam folder? ;-)