In The Tray's Honor.

These news items never seem to go away. This one I found today, yet it was dated the first of this year. Personally I don’t know how I missed it. I must be getting old. However, just for the sake of humoring me let’s let review, let’s take a closer… look.

Virgin Mary appears on pizza pan
Monday, February 26, 2007

Devout churchgoers have begun worshipping a pizza pan - after claiming the Virgin Mary has appeared amid the melted cheese, tomato and pepperoni.

Now I’m not splitting hairs here but does this line ring a bell? "You shall not make for yourself an idol." Yup, kids, you hit it right on the head - Deuteronomy 5:6-5:21 The Big Ten. Apparently there is a loophole that I have hastly overlooked that allows pizza pans in the mix for idolizing. But let’s move on. 

Dinner ladies at a school in Texas discovered what they took to be Mary's image on the base of a cooking tray.  But after fevered scrubbing failed to shift it, rumor spread of a divine apparition and now pilgrims have been flocking to a makeshift shrine in the tray's honor.

That my friends would be the acid test - scrubbing.  And not just regular scrubbing but a fevered scrubbing with a S.O.S. Tuffy Nylon Scouring Pad - part number (98130CLX) We’re talking a down right knuckle scrapping, sweat producing, lip biting scrub down. And let me tell you, after dating a few dinner ladies in my time I can assure you they are a no nonsense lot.

So you know the V-Mary’s image must be real.

One woman came to the school in Houston seeking healing for her disabled grandson.

Ok, I have the most respect as anyone for the disabled but just how out of action must one be that when a group of cafeteria ladies comes to them with a dirty pizza pan and assures them that healing will commence that the disabled cat perks up and prepares to lace a never before worn pair of Nike’s 

School canteen worker Guadalupe Rodriguez, who first spotted the mark on Ash Wednesday, said: 'On the third rinse I started watching it, trying to discover what it was. 'It showed to me like it is the Virgin Mary.' Pupil Anel Villareal said: 'They said, "The Virgin is in the cafeteria" and I ran over there to see. 'My God, it was the Virgin. I cried when I see her with my own eyes.'

Well, damn that must have been a sight to behold. I mean, having the Virgin Mary in the house and all. I can remember one time at band camp, I was having a cup of coco in the commissary and someone had left a smashed cookie on one of the serving trays and from where I was sitting, I noticed that if I were to scrunch my eyes and sort of tilt my head to left of the cookie it sort of looked like Bob Dylan… No shit.

So what I’m sayin’ here is that we need to keep an open mind.  I know that in the past I have had that not so fresh feeling when it comes to personal faith but it sort of scares me that maybe one day I will be having a dish of clam fettuccini and BAMN, right in the middle of the clam sauce will be an image of Satan himself. That could happen, ya’know. I mean you don’t hear about it a lot but if heaven’s big hitters can show up on a whim and can endure several hours of scrubbing, then what about the dark lords. 

In the past, the Virgin Mary has been said to appear on a toasted cheese sandwich in Florida, a Chicago underpass and a blob of dried chocolate at a Californian factory.

See, that is what I’m talking about…

Comments

[Polly]

Only in America ;-)

[Alvin]

I'm afraid so m'dear, I'm afraid so.

[Pauline]

lalala...

From today's news

http://www.star-telegram.com/407/story/240176.html

[Alvin]

You know what gets me is if these gods and whatnot are all that then why can't they come up with an image of themselves in high resolution. I mean, come on... there should be no questioning the image then.

I love it. The cat at the end of the story says... it's a lemon slice for god's sake...

heh. priceless.

Thanks for looking out.