Water Lilly Alley

Really Now

Salem Oregon:
A Salem family is grieving after the death of their 14-year old son. Police said *John Smith’s older brother found him dead in his bed just after 2 a,m, Monday. Investigators said he died after inhaling spray from a can of cleaner used to dust computers, also known as dusting.

*Not his real name, but you can look it up on the Fox News Oregon Online News edition for April 25, 2007.

That is about as harsh as making a bean and cheese burrito out of the very same tortilla with the image of the Virgin Mary on it yet being completely unaware. Dying by way of dusting will not only leave the person in question a bit red faced but it can be rather embarrassing for the rest of the family as well. I just can’t imagine showing up in the afterlife without any bullet holes or an empty bottle of vicodin to vouch for my transition.

I mean come on kids, what was he thinking? I just read the warning label on my current can of compressed gas duster or gas comprimido Para eliminar el polvo – for my friend Julio. And it is reads Warning: Do not deliberately concentrate and / or inhale this product. You could die instantly. Suffer brain damage or other dangerous and permanent health effects. To prevent accidental or intentional misuse or abuse, keep out of the reach of children and teens.

Well, hell, there you go; it can’t be any more crystal than that. I for one can say without a doubt that when I was a kid, this dusting crap with aerosols was virtually unheard of. Those damn fluorocarbons can be downright harmful.

It’s not like back in the day when all a kid had was a tube of quick drying Testors model airplane glue. I mean that shit was safe. No warning labels there buddy and after a rolled up sock session it left you with a feeling of having a real hobby, not like you just finished dusting mommies’ keyboard.

Of course for the few of us that did die. Well, we had that covered too, cuz, all you had to do was show up at the pearly gates with a 1/48 0-2A Skymaster tucked under your arm that had been assembled from more than 

70 highly detailed, injection molded plastic parts, with an interior revealing a simulated instrument panel, side consoles, and an ejection seat with a big, clear canopy that could be positioned open or closed with a real pilot figure.

Now for additional entry points at the gate you could point out to the Angel in charge of the armament which just so happens to include six simulated bombs and four 7.62mm machine guns in not one, but two powerful twin turbo-prop engines.

So you see, all in all, we even had the dying part covered when it came to glue sniffing. And as far as all that crap about killing off brain cells… Well, I am, after all, the author of this blog… so there.

Some Folks

Some folks will add equal amounts of pearly white to midnight blue for a promise of moon glow. Others have been known to splash quite coral with obstinate orange for a golden warm soothing sunset.

And as near as yesterday a tired, overworked elementary school teacher swished laudable lime against calypso blue in anticipation of a forest that would spend its time lovingly licking the sky.

And before that an entire convalescent home of old decrepit curmudgeons and crones came out with brushes, tarps and ladders. Following them was the oldest of the old carrying a worn and tattered palette of almost forgotten dreams and right there, right after lunch and about twenty minutes before nap time they unionized with a hatch of colors that had endured a lifetime of trials, tribulations and a short list of timeouts.

They had sundance orange and a complete array of tantalizing teals, grape mist, veiled violets, lazy grays, and universal khaki. They brought off-whites, egg-whites and shades of henna, honey blush, cosmetic peach and of course… decisive yellows

Yup, they unionized, right there and then and painted against a punishment that would no longer work; they went against all laws of color, all rules of thumb:

They painted over rust.

-Alvin Valles 2007

VT Backwards Spells TV

Looks like the talking heads have their work all laid out for the next few days. Even Glenn Beck and Nancy Grace gave up their daily rations of croissants and lattes for stale coffee and donuts out of the back of a news van to cover the latest hit to land a spot on American consciousness. Yeah, I’m talking about the VT Massacre and/or whatever the news puppets have decided to call it.

 I will keep this relatively short only because I will not be caught up in this crap for the next two weeks as the ‘professionals’ try and figure out why Cho Seung-Hui did what he did.

 We already know why: Because he was a freaking whacko. Nothing more, nothing less boys and girls, that is all we need to know. End of investigation.

 Yet, on the other hand the conservative right is by all measures avoiding the term ‘gun control’, the left screaming nothing other than. And we as a nation… well we are ‘seemingly’ in need to know why this happened, or at best, how long will it keep our interest. After all Nicole had a good run, Most of us think that she is still dead, the baby has a father now and the father has a lot of money to look forward to. But all in all we are missing the big picture. The bottom line here is that we are a culture of violence, a culture of war, and most of all, a culture of sensationalism. That pretty much sums it up in a nutshell – no pun intended.

Case in point…

Gun Control. Prior to the invasion of Iraq, suicide bombings were unheard of in Baghdad? It was not until 2003, that the first suicide bombers made an appearance – a brief appearance I’m sure but never-the-less they found that they were able to do what they do best: Blow people up. So what does gun control have to do with a world that comes to us in miniature sound bytes and ten second film clips? Answer: Everything.

 You see, not every insurgent, terrorist, or anti-American loyalist has access to a series of M24 special sniper weapons. So they go with what they do have, or actually, what is much more available and effective: Explosives, and not only are explosives beneficial to the cause but it allows the powers to be to void paying out a pension plan. So when you break it down like that, one does not need a gun if they want to cause major havoc. I’m sure that if Mr. Hui was dead set on taking out a measure of students he would have found another way other than using a handgun if need be. Hell, he was a college student for Christ sakes. Not exactly your regular street thug.

 Now, I don’t own a gun, never have and hope that I never will. But if people want to own guns then so be it. That is their right. I own a car, get in front of that after taking out one of my loved ones and you will see just what kind of damage a 99 Chevy can do. But does that mean we need to control who owns a car. Hell, I could beat a person to death with a book if I had the mind to. Should be register books? So, lets not get all high and mighty about what is and what isn’t going on about laws that ban.

 If you ask me… We need laws to protect us from being stupid, cover stupid and we wall would be a lot happier.

 The next question we should ask ourselves is just how do we as a society fall into the mix and if we look close enough we would find that we allow ourselves to get caught up in a very serious state of sensationalism. Now take a big deep breath… cuz, you’re gonna need it.

 YOU see, we love this sort of shit. We love to have something to talk about at the water cooler, we can’t wait to get home, scoop out a dish of ice cream and catch the 11:00 o’clock news or Nightline to see how many and how they were killed in any given situation. We love that reality effect as long as it’s on TV and not next door. We love seeing blood, crying and big explosions and long as we can shut it off if we have a fancy to. We flocked to the special bulletin when OJ was flying down the 405 hunkered down in the backseat of his Bronco. We were all mesmerized by the televised invasion of Kuwait. We hung on to every light tracer over Baghdad when it came to Dubya’s Shock and Awe attack. We couldn’t get enough of Katrina or the likes of her sisters. We can’t break away from freeway chases or shootouts in the workplace.

We are hooked.

 The last report I took notice of on this horrendous injustice to the public was earlier this afternoon when a reporter came on and said. “This is not a reflection of our society as a whole or not even as American culture, in fact, the perpetrator wasn’t even American.”

Well God Damn… Bitchslap me can call me Tina. I’m sure glad we cleared that up. I'm glad South Korea is void of oil or we would declare war.

 I for one have stack of books sitting next to my reading lamp, all lined up and waiting for a moment with me. My own little literary party with a list of invitees, which include Pete Dexter, Aimee Bender, Charles Baxter and Jasper Fforde...

 I agree, it’s a horrible thing that took over VT, but it is nothing compared to what we AS a society are allowing to go on in a country half way around the world, next door, or even in the next room. It’s not sensationalism until it makes all the networks and then we take notice.

Then… we can ask why…

Happy Easter From The Dollheads

Awwww… Isn’t it wonderful? Spring is in the air. New lovers are loving as if all is good and that their devotion to one another will be different than all the other lovers that came before them and that their fidelity and dedication will endure the rigors of time.

Hams are home and ready for the oven.

Tulips brighten the mantel.

Easter dresses are laid out complete with little girl dreams of being all grown up. Patent leather marries pink and to imagine that only an hour in church will pay all in full.

Yes, Easter has arrived. Mass, cordial greetings, breakfast out and everyone feasting of the resurrection of our mighty savor with thoughts of redemption, good times, marshmallow bunnies and chocolate Easter eggs…

STOP!!!! This just in…

Associated Press, Dateline April 8, 2007 Sunday, Early. Real Early.
A group of archaeologists have unearthed a set of urns just outside the city of Oakland, California mid-day yesterday. Inside the 2000 year old urns they found a few notebooks – spiraled. After spending most of the morning trying to barney down the barely readable script it appears that the team found new information that Chocolate Easter Eggs are a part of the true resurrection of our mighty savor. 

From what they were able to piece together from the scrolls is that the reason chocolate Easter eggs are a major component of the Easter holiday is that the color of chocolate is the same color of the wood used for the cross.

Sheesh, who woulda known?

Happy Easter - The Dollheads.